Inspiration from the Soul

By A Student

Oh Soul, throughout this lifetime, I have fought with You, denied You, sometimes despised what You represent. Happiness seemed to be the goal and You did not show me happiness. Laziness did not seem so bad, yet You made me feel guilty about it. The pleasures of life were always everywhere to be seen, yet true and lasting peace was not to be found.

Oh Soul, I have fought You with all my cunning and power, through these many years; many battles I have won over You, yet the taste of victory was never mine to own. You and my karma put into my path many people who seemed to be there to reveal my weaknesses; weaknesses that I usually denied by pointing the finger at someone else. I could prove I had been wronged. And even when I theoretically accepted that such happenings were my personal karma, deep within my personality, I knew that if the world would be right towards me, I would be right toward the world; yet it seemed the world often was not right towards me, and I was not to blame.

Surely I was misunderstood by those You put into my path. If only they knew my deep down goodness, my desire to do the right thing, they would have cooperated with me and not found any weakness; so I finally became long-suffering instead of reacting and complaining and criticizing; but I continued to quietly and silently believe my old stuff, that 'if only' these others understood and cooperated with me, I would have little weakness to show. In that space, I lived many years of illusory existence, turning the deeper Truth You held for me away. All of those battles I fought and won, while the victories continued in emptiness.

Like a ship in troubled waters, I have experienced great ups and downs, equal to the intensity of my desires, necessary, for it has been learned that desire builds the will to persist. Long have I not registered my real motivations; they too have changed through this lifetime, and often, even from day to day; from fear to inspiration, the motivations have ranged; one moment I have been competitive and the next moment cooperative with my fellow man; one moment compassionate and the next moment indifferent; one moment self disciplined, the next moment, out of control. Oh, how I have wanted to rest from this weary struggle against my own Soul, the Truth of Who I am. Yet, the warrior cannot rest until he either achieves the final victory, or lays down his battle armament and opens himself to the victor.

Oh Soul, when You sent me a Teacher along the way to help align my forces toward You, I even wanted to help Him learn how to work with me; wanted to explain to Him what He needed to do so that He would understand my personality better; would know how hard I have tried. The Teacher that You sent seemed to be too strict at times. Could it be that He does not really love me? His strictness is so intense. My picture of a gentle, loving Teacher does not always superimpose upon Him. Is there a mistake here someplace? Is He the right Teacher for me, I once wondered? Surely, Teachers are recognized for their limitless patience, their unwavering gentleness, their unsurpassed understanding of each student; yet, I did not always see these qualities, until, UNTIL that fateful day of complete surrender to YOU, oh Soul that I am. That day I SAW, for the very first time, the gentlest, kindest, most loving and compassionate person. It was my Teacher. At first I thought, 'Oh, how He has changed,' but just for a moment did that thought linger, while the remaining cloud passed from view; the cloud that had held my thoughts in illusion deep, my understanding far removed.

Oh Soul, help me to keep this picture, this discovery, this self-realization. And when it again fades from view, help me to remember what I see this day, for that is enough inspiration to move me along to complete this journey; to fight with You no more; rather, to live next to You until others can no longer tell the difference between You and Me. A time when I can truly say, the Fight is over; We are both the victors. This world is a better place because We are here.

Om Soul! Om Soul! Om Soul!

Ready to be inspired by your Soul? Then the Center for Purposeful Living's dynamic yearlong Soul-Centered Education program may be your next step. For 18 years, the award winning, all-volunteer, non-profit Center for Purposeful Living has been training people from around the world to discover and live their Life Purpose. As a non-religious organization, its programs have been created to be inclusive of all cultural and spiritual beliefs. All students receive full scholarships, including room and board on the beautiful North Carolina campus. For more information visit www.purposeful.org; call 336-761-8745 or e-mail: jwhite@ufhg.org.