Their energy stays with you…forever
So, I do wonder if we completely leave our Mothers even after their deaths? I lost my mother in October 2005. I didn’t feel her passing and didn’t know for ten days that she had crossed over because of hurricane Rita. She died Friday evening on the 21st and I wasn’t notified until October 31st. It seems the funeral parlor got her body Saturday morning and because the State of Florida was her legal guardian, Legal Aid would be notified first and they would contact me. The hurricane left them without phones and electricity for five days, so I was notified as soon as communication was possible.
For those of you that read this column, you may have walked down the parental path of dysfunction with me before as I’ve often written about my mother and not always kindly. I gave permission to say “NO,” and enabled you to recognize that sometimes enough is enough even when it concerns your own Mother. Try as you might, to do all you can but if your family is dysfunctional, this is what you have to work with, and that’s OK. Plenty of times I had to disassociate and prepare for another round later on. I think the thing I’m proud of the most is that I did go back in the ring, even if I was no contender and got knocked-out each time.
I received more emails about things I’ve said about my Mother than any other time. It seemed to touch others that were having similar problems and needed validation. Oh, the guilt is cruel when you don’t get along with them, and somehow it must be your fault. Just remember they weren’t brought up in the miraculous era that allows you to go get help. Therapy wasn’t an acceptable choice for them and if I didn’t spend years of doing “inner child” therapy I’m not sure I could feel good like I do right now. The journey was rough, and even now it still doesn’t feel complete.
I have a sense that the umbilical cord swings from generation to generation, and connects you to your ancestors forever through eons.
Because I believe we hold their negative patterns and vibrate from that space, I’ve been consciously clearing these energies. I think I will be attached to my Mother until I feel peace. She has her peace because on the other side I believe there is only Love, and Peace.
I feel we have a responsibility to our lineage of ancestors that have suffered, and our willingness to stay present and embrace their issues is the key to true freedom. Their suffering could be held in fear, guilt, lack, incest, cruelty, dominance, or any dysfunctional act or incident and if we forgive them we will break bondage for ourselves, our children and grandchildren.
The more work we consciously do -- to clear ourselves through some kind of therapy, and then to seek a greater level of understanding of what happened to our parents, grandparents and great grandparents -- our journey will be well worth the effort.
I’d been told that until my mother left the planet, I wouldn’t be free. Now that she’s gone I sit with the pain of what I didn’t have and this made her pain bitter. I thought I’d be glad almost that the last fight was fought, but it’s weird not having a mother around and I certainly didn’t expect to mourn her life as I did.
I had issues come up with my own daughter, Jodi that made me compare myself to my mother. It was my test to see how I could make things different for us. The roots of these patterns were very powerful. I believe the work Jodi and I have both done on ourselves made the journey through the dark night of the soul easier. We’re at a better place and have a stronger, healthier bond. I know we will have more work to do, but I’m grateful to have daughter that’s so balanced and put together. Through her I can celebrate and see the changes for the better. This is my favorite month and Jodi always plans a great day for us on my favorite day of the year: Mother’s Day!
There is no easy ride my friends, if you have what I had to work with -- just deal with it how it is. Don’t destroy you in the process. It’s a very sad thing not having a loving relationship with your mom. We’re all like little kids just wanting to be loved. Inner child therapy is interesting because as you get better, everyone around you gets better….
Even from the grave (or ashes) they feel it. I’ll continue to do the work on myself and forgive my ancestors so my daughter can have true freedom and happiness.
For you lucky ones that have a good mom, you are blessed. Treat your Mother like the blessing she is.
Bye honeys,
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